Why Forgiveness is Important for Mental Well-Being
We’ve all experienced hurt - whether from a friend, family member, or even ourselves. Some wounds linger longer than expected, making it difficult to move forward. When emotions run high, forgiveness can feel impossible. But what if holding onto resentment is hurting you more than anyone else?
Forgiveness isn’t about excusing bad behaviour or pretending nothing happened. It’s about freeing yourself from the emotional weight that keeps you stuck. Choosing to forgive is an act of self-care - one that allows you to reclaim your peace of mind and emotional well-being.
The Emotional Toll of Holding onto Resentment
Imagine carrying a heavy backpack all day. At first, you might barely notice it, but over time, the weight wears you down. Holding onto anger and resentment works the same way - it drains your mental energy, increases stress, and keeps you trapped in the past.
When we refuse to forgive, we may find ourselves:
Replaying painful memories, keeping the wound fresh.
Feeling constantly drained due to lingering emotions.
Struggling to move forward because we’re stuck in past hurt.
But forgiveness isn’t about letting someone off the hook - it’s about releasing yourself from negativity and reclaiming your emotional freedom.
How Forgiveness Improves Mental Health
Letting go of past hurt doesn’t mean forgetting or minimising it - it means freeing yourself from its emotional burden. Practicing forgiveness can lead to:
Lower stress and anxiety - Holding onto grudges keeps your nervous system in fight-or-flight mode. Letting go allows for emotional relief (Worthington et al., 2007).
Better emotional regulation - Processing pain in a healthier way prevents anger or bitterness from taking over.
Improved relationships - Whether with the person you’re forgiving or within yourself, forgiveness fosters deeper connection and trust.
Greater overall happiness - Releasing resentment creates space for joy, peace, and personal growth.
Steps to Letting Go
Forgiveness isn’t about an instant decision - it’s a process that unfolds over time. Taking small steps can help ease the journey.
1. Acknowledge Your Feelings
Forgiveness doesn’t mean ignoring your emotions. Take time to sit with them - whether that’s anger, disappointment, or sadness.
Ask yourself:
Why does this still affect me?
What emotions come up when I think about it?
Recognising your feelings is the first step toward releasing them.
2. Shift Your Perspective
Looking at the situation differently can help soften its emotional grip. This doesn’t mean excusing harmful actions, but rather asking yourself:
Will holding onto this pain serve me in the long run?
Can I find a lesson in this experience?
Often, people hurt others because of their own unhealed wounds. Understanding this doesn’t justify their actions, but it can help you detach from resentment.
3. Set Healthy Boundaries
Forgiving doesn’t mean allowing the same harm to continue. If someone has consistently hurt you, forgiveness might involve emotional release while still maintaining boundaries. You can forgive while choosing to protect your well-being.
4. Practice Self-Forgiveness
Sometimes, the hardest person to forgive is yourself. Holding onto guilt can be just as damaging as holding onto resentment toward others.
Remind yourself:
You are human, and humans make mistakes.
Your past does not define you.
Growth comes from learning, not self-punishment.
Forgiveness is for You
At its core, forgiveness is about reclaiming your peace. It doesn’t mean condoning what happeneds or even reconciling with the person who hurt you. It simply means freeing yourself from the weight of anger and pain.
Take a moment to reflect:
What past hurt are you still carrying?
How would it feel to finally let go?
Forgiveness is a process, but every small step you take brings you closer to emotional freedom, inner peace, and a heathier, happier life.